For years, well actually for most of my life that I can remember, I have been afraid.  Though it is a shame to say, I’ve been afraid of so many things, especially people.  I’ve even been afraid of God, the only true source of my protection, identity and unconditional love.  I’ve been afraid of rejection, punishment, you name it.  Obviously enough, but I’ll state it anyway, living in a state of constant fear is not healthy.  In fact, after hearing a message by a preacher named Creflo Dollar, I have begun to be convicted of this lifestyle and am committed to changing, by the grace of God.  (This was a divine set-up by God by the way, as I watched him preach on tv at my mother-in-law’s house, for I do not have cable- and it was the exact day that I found out I was expecting. This is another miracle story, and it’s a good one…)  Anyway, as a good friend of mine likes to say, “to make a long story even longer…” This message preached was about fear, and about how it is Never ok. Never?  really?  Yes never.  He said that a lot of Christians today have a belief system which not only makes room for fear, but actually encourages it.  ”A little fear is a good thing, keeps you out of trouble…” and all that. Then he lovingly quoted a verse from I don’t know where- it’s in the Bible, I can tell you that much, about those who will be judged and punished. Despicable offenders like idolators, murderers, liars… oh and cowards.  Those Who Fear. Ouch.  The Fear of the Lord, as we so often hear, thinking we know what it means, does not mean to be afraid.  The last thing that God wants is for us, His children to be afraid of Him.  Yes, we are to have a reverent awe and respect for the Lord, which surpasses greatly the amount of awe and respect that we give to any other.  But I am beginning to think that we Christians, myself in the forefront, are abusing this “holy fear”, and making it into something it should never be.  As I’ve been studying the Bible more and more, I am so thankful to have the Holy Spirit to give me understanding and to teach me what it means bit by bit.  One of the greatest things He has been teaching me lately, is of His Goodness, which truly never fails, of His mercy that goes and goes, that forgives and forgives.  The psalms are always pointing out how the people have messed up, and God has bailed them out, and even blessed them though they probably deserved to get their little butts spanked.  Looking back, God has done this very thing for me time and time again.  How long will I be thick-headed?  How long will I be hard-hearted against the One who gives me life and breath and all of the love that I could ever need, and still more, if I could just grasp ahold of the truth of it?  How long will I look to other’s approval to give me self-worth?  Psalm 49 basically says, “Why should we fear what other people can do to us? Why should we compare ourselves to ones who are richer, better looking, more talented?  Why should we get frustrated with the injustice of those who gain by dishonesty or immorality, while ourselves feeling cheated somehow? Why should we look to those who seem to be just plain better than us? Can they with all of their money, talent, looks and the rest bail us out of the punishment we’ve raked up for ourselves? Basically, this is it: no man can pay enough to save us from an eternity separated from God, which we have rightly earned though sin. No man then surely, could ever pay enough to buy us an eternity in the presence of God, with blessings and joy that will never run out. Only God is this wealthy and powerful, and He has already done it through Jesus, just because He loves us.” Whew, what a relief.   In that perspective, why would we care what Anyone else thinks but God? Why would we get our worth from anyone else?  I know this needs to hit you, like it needs to keep hitting me, by the Spirit. But man, this is good stuff, and I want to get a start on it.

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